Burning In The Undertow : One Last Wish

It was to my surprise, upon my conversations with various fellow Fugazi or even Rites of Spring fan over the years that some of them had never heard of One Last Wish, Guy Picciotto's band post-Rites of Spring and pre-Fugazi. How is this possible? Let's get one thing straight : One Last Wish, by independent scene's scope, is not in anyway obscure. So how do we explain the fact that some people are still oblivious to the existence of this band?

Well, for a start, One Last Wish was not even a band for more than a year (8 months to be exact). They played no more than a slew of shows, mostly in D.C area. Though the mixing of their album was completed by January 1987, the album didn't see the light of day until 13 years later. The band's demise in the same month was the reason why Dischord didn't release it back then. However, their song Burning In The Undertow was featured on Dichord benefit sampler "State of The Union" (April 1989).

Also, not long after One Last Wish dissolution, both Canty and Picciotto joined Fugazi which became a powerhouse name in the DIY/hardcore/punk scene as we know it. Fugazi's influence and impact in the underground music scene in the late 80's onwards was huge and undeniable. Whether you agree or not with some of their ethical stances and approaches to business practices is a different matter altogether. It is no surprise that more people would become better acquainted with Fugazi.

I can't really remember my first revelation of One Last Wish. It must have been through some music articles or reviews on the internet. However, I do remember the impact it had on me. Eight years later, as i'm listening to their full-length "1986" while writing this, the magic has not lost on me. It doesn't sound even a second older which is a ridiculous thing to say considering how 80's the production of this album is.

Rites of Spring made a big impression on me when I heard them for the first time. It was also my first introduction with Mr. Picciotto. I didn't know that hardcore punk and melodies could be paired in such a way without sacrificing the intensity. It opened my eyes to this new realm of possibilities in music, leading me to other bands such as The Hated, Gray Matter, Soulside, Current, etc.

One Last Wish took this approach even a step further, introducing more mid-tempo sections and hints of 1970's UK post-punk in their music. Gone are the big blazing guitar riffs, and the aggressive, angry vocals. The bass and the vocals took the centre stage while two overdriven guitars weave in and out with their jangly open chords accompanying Guy's half-singing, half-shouting vocals. The song structures are simpler compared to Rites of Spring's, leaning towards pop format (none of the songs reaches three-minutes mark) with more emphasis in groove, giving the songs more space and dynamic. There's no long, noisy parts to be found ala Rites of Spring's End On End. Everything is concise, 'simple' and just enough. 

Am i biased when it comes to 1986? Yes, absolutely. It's one of my favorite albums of all time, beating Rites of Spring's End On End and Fugazi's Repeater releases by a tiny margin. Rites of Spring was bursting with intensity; Fugazi showed me growth and forward-thinking; while One Last Wish hit me emotionally, viscerally moved me and fill me with feelings. It's not anger nor sadness. It's not nostalgic longing nor glimpses of the future. It's a realization that music at its most basic and simple form may inspire any complicated human being.
 

Voice

Having to read students' essay is a big part of my job. Weekly (or daily even), I need to somehow rate all the elements that supposedly contribute to this thing that we inevitably, subjectively and yet objectively call a great writing. There are the usual, the normal, the obligatory and expected aspects such as conventions,text structure, use of connectors, sentence variation, etc. As boring as they sound, they are the fundamentals, the elementary yet significant; the primitive yet indispensable; the meat and potatoes of one's writing. These things are all introduced to the students gradually from young age with hopes that by the time they have the drive, the ideas and curiosity to write, all the tools would be at their disposal to use.

The next step would be to find one's 'voice'. This should always be pursued only after one has mastered all the basics. Only run once you know how to walk (I can't remember who said this, but credit goes to that person). Being the most difficult and problematic aspect of one's writing to master, more often that not, the process of finding one's voice gets neglected. What makes it so hard? Are the rules too demanding and toilsome? Nope. It's simply because there are no rules when it comes to finding your 'voice'.

Finding your 'voice' requires awareness; awareness of your surrounding and the world, and most importantly, awareness of your really true self. It is about looking into the deepest part of your soul and ask yourself "What do i desire? Who do i want to be? Why am i aspired to be that person? Where do i fit?" More often than not, you might not like the answers. The answers will not reveal anything you haven't known before but they will reveal things you didn't want to admit of feeling.

Just like everyone else, we need the belief -some people call it delusion, and others call it hope- that there's at least a glimpse of us that is totally unique. That there's something inside of us that we can call it our own. That a possibility of being an individual is not totally out of the window. And at the end of the day, we simply do not have any guarantee. None of us does. Your 'success' and 'passion' have nothing to do with this. Uncertainties is what makes us human. 

If that's the case, how does one find his/her own voice?

I don't know. Like i said, there's no guarantee.What makes you think everybody gets to find his/her own voice at all?

In the big scheme of the universe, we are nothing but a speck of dust; a dot among all the patterns; a drop of water during the endless rain. Our lives are small, and perhaps disposable. As depressing as this all may sounds, accepting one's limitation is the first step to find the voice. Don't forget that those ideas that flows from your brain towards your fingers, resulting in a seemingly random, and yet eloquent moves of the pen is the consequence of you. The paper is you. The pen is you. And what matters the most, the words are you. And most of the time, that's all we need.